I recently borrowed this book from a friend who also found it very interesting, so I thought I’d share its points and principles.

The book is called How to Win Friends and Influence People. It was written by David Carnegie back in the 1950s or so and has since (and continues to sell) millions of copies. While the title of the book isn’t great the content is awesome. The book is based around business contacts and interacting with people so that you can do all sorts of things from simply getting along with other people to influencing their thinking to achieve the outcome you’re after.

So anyways, rather than go on and on about the book, below I’ve listed all the main points the book presents. I’d suggest you buy a copy of the book as it also has a few real-life examples and stories which reinforce the effectiveness of the points below.

Fundamental Techniques for Handling People:

• Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
• Give honest and sincere appreciation.
• Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Six Ways to Make People Like You:

• Become genuinely interested in other people.
• Smile.
• Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
• Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
• Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
• Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking:

• The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
• Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong”.
• If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
• Begin in a friendly way.
• Get the other person saying “yes”. “yes” immediately.
• Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
• Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
• Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
• Appeal to nobler motives.
• Dramatize your ideas.
• Throw down a challenge.

Be a Leadet: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment:

• Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
• Call attention to other people’s mistakes indirectly.
• Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
• Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
• Let the other person save face.
• Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise”.
• Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
• Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
• Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

… And that’s it

I’m not quite back to regular posts yet, my computer is still dead (arggh) and I’m trying to deal with all the uni administration nonsense and my uni quota running out etc, so yeah it may be a while before things get back on track in a couple of aspects.

Nathan Waters
Just listen and praise!